reality bites

have emerged from a week of a weird state of part oblivion and part heightened awareness. now that the numbness has worn off, i see that there is a fair bit of way to go before i get to that fantasy place of mental peace and emotional harmony. the fluctuating mood swings are getting scary-madness, hysteria, crazed laughter, frenetic dancing, and then crashing down to the dungeon of unworthiness where imagination drives me to the point of insanity, where i want to shut down my visuals and just lie in deep velvelty black emptiness. anything, even no feeling is better than this.

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reality bites

2 thoughts on “reality bites

  1. jammie says:

    i wonder why it happens that stark happiness and deep sadness have to be juxtaposed this way. to give us hope? or kill our hope? life gets surreal as you enjoy yourself to the max and then go home to the pain that is inside you all the while. all i can say is, mars, it DOES get better. im proof. love you.

  2. somuchmagic says:

    God i can totally relate to your state of mind.. I’m actually experiencing this right now in my life.. and to be honest with you the point where I’m at, it doesn’t seem like a million years will dull this pain! But then I hear people say ;
    Much of your pain is self-chosen.
    It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
    Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity:
    For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen

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